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Halloween Funny Jokes for you to enjoy!

 

 Let's laugh together

Here are really funny jokes submitted
by Meeting Land members:

Really funny Halloween joke 1
What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure...

Really funny Halloween joke 2
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A Hoblin Goblin!

Halloween pumpkin

Really funny Halloween joke 3
What is Dracula's blood type?
The same as his lunch!

Really funny Halloween joke 4
Why do vampires brush their fangs?
They don't want to have bat breath!

Really funny Halloween joke 5
What goes "Ha-ha-ha-ha!", thud?
A monster laughing it's head off!

Really funny Halloween joke 6
What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime...

Really funny Halloween joke 7
What is a ghosts favorite place on the web?

Really funny Halloween joke 8
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
She woke up too early in the mourning.

Really funny Halloween joke 9
What's a ghoul's favorite breakfast cereal?
Rice Creepies.

Really funny Halloween joke 10
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets.

Really funny Halloween joke 11
What's a vampire's favorite feast?
Fangsgiving Day dinner.

Really funny Halloween joke 12
How do you piss off a vampire?
Go to his house and install a skylight!

Really funny Halloween joke 13
How do you rid a Ghost from your house?
Ask him to split the rent!

Really funny Halloween joke 14
Who was the most famous ghost detective?
Sherlock Moans.

Really funny Halloween joke 15
What is a vampire's pet peeve?
A Tourniquet!

Really funny Halloween joke 16
What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane.

Really funny Halloween joke 17
Why don't witches ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle.

Really funny Halloween joke 18
How do you fix a broken jack-o'-lantern?
With a "pumpkin patch"!

Really funny Halloween joke 19
What do they teach in witching school?
Spelling.

Really funny Halloween joke 20
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap!

Really funny Halloween joke 21
What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball.

Really funny joke - Halloween joke 22
What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
HelloHelloHello!

Really funny Halloween joke 23
How do you tell if a ghost is lying?
You can see right through him.

Really funny Halloween joke 24
What instrument does a skeleton play?
A trombone.

Really funny joke - Halloween joke 25
How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
It depends on what you want to change it into.

Really funny Halloween joke 26
Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Mali-boo.

Really funny Halloween joke 27
When does a ghost have breakfast?
In the moaning.

Really funny Halloween joke 28
What do you call a gay guy turned on by a witch?
Scared straight!

Really funny Halloween joke 29
What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein.

Really funny Halloween joke 30
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.

Really funny Halloween joke 31
How do mummies hide?
They wear masking tape!

Really funny Halloween joke 32
What do you call a witch's garage?
A broom closet.

Really funny Halloween joke 33
What do you call a guy turned on by a witch?
Scared stiff!

Really funny Halloween joke 34
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.

Really funny Halloween joke 35
What directions did the ghost give the goblin?
Make a fright turn at the corner.

Really funny Halloween joke 36
Why is there always a fence around a cemetery?
People are just dying to get in!

Really funny Halloween joke 37
What kind of pets do ghosts have?
Scaredy Cats!

Really funny Halloween joke 38
What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.

Really funny Halloween joke 39
How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
He draws your blood with a straw!

Really funny Halloween joke 40
What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries...

Really funny Halloween joke 41
Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they don't have any body to go out with.

Really funny Halloween joke 42
Why did the vampire's lunch give her heartburn?
It was a stake sandwich.

Really funny Halloween joke 43
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.

Really funny Halloween joke 44
What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
A boo-tie.

Really funny Halloween joke 45
Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating?
Women can see right through them!

Really funny Halloween joke 46
What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends.

Really funny Halloween joke 47
What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts.

Really funny Halloween joke 48
What do you call serious rocks?
Grave stones.

Really funny Halloween joke 49
How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Give him screws.

Really funny Halloween joke 50
What do skeletons say before eating?
Bone Appetite!

Really funny Halloween joke 51
What's a ghosts favorite desert?
Boo-berry pie.

Really funny Halloween joke 52
Why can't witches have babies?
Because their husbands have "Hollow-Weenies"!

Really funny Halloween joke 53
What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel.

Really funny Halloween joke 54
When does a skeleton laugh?
When something tickles his funny bone!

Really funny Halloween joke 55
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray.

Really funny Halloween joke 56
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich.

Really funny Halloween joke 57
How do ghosts fly from one place to another?
By scareplane.

Really funny Halloween joke 58
Why did the Polish vampire starve to death?
He kept biting his own lip.

Really funny Halloween joke 59
Why don't mummies take vacations?
They're afraid to relax and unwind.

Really funny Halloween joke 60
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

Really funny Halloween joke 61
What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
Bloodhounds.

Really funny Halloween joke 62
What's a Vampire's favorite fruit?
NECKtarine!

Really funny Halloween joke 63
What do little trees say on Halloween?
Twig or treat.

Really funny Halloween joke 64
Why did a vampire go to the dentist?
To get rid of his over bite.

Really funny Halloween joke 65
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves.

Really funny Halloween joke 66
Why does a witch ride a broom?
Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.

Really funny Halloween joke 67
Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank?
He was caught drinking on the job!

Really funny Halloween joke 68
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts!

Really funny Halloween joke 69
Why was the little ghost crying?
Because he had a BOO-BOO!

Really funny Halloween joke 70
Why don't vamps like Red Cross?
They can't stand the competition.

Really funny Halloween joke 71
What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best?
Hallowieners.

Really funny Halloween joke 72
Where do ghosts shop?
In boo-tiques!

Really funny Halloween joke 73
Why did the headless horseman go into business?
He wanted to get ahead in life.

Really funny Halloween joke 74
Why didn't the Jack-O-Lantern go to the dance?
He wasn't lit and didn't have a match!

Really funny Halloween joke 75
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.

Really funny Halloween joke 76
Why wasn't the vampire working?
He was on his coffin break.

Really funny Halloween joke 77
How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle his funny bone!

Really funny Halloween joke 78
What do ghosts drink at breakfast?
Coffee with scream and sugar.

Really funny Halloween joke 79
Why couldn't the mummy answer the phone?
Because he was all wrapped up!

Really funny Halloween joke 80
What kind of shoes do baby ghosts wear?
Boo-ties!

Really funny Halloween joke 81
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.

Really funny Halloween joke 82
What do goblins mail home while on vacation?
Ghost cards.

Really funny Halloween joke 83
What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?
A toasty ghosty.

Really funny Halloween joke 84
How do vampires invite each other out for lunch?
Do you want to go for a bite?

Really funny Halloween joke 85
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They all come out at night.

Really funny Halloween joke 86
Why did the Vampire subscribe to www.MeetingLand.com ?
He heard it had great circulation.

Really funny Halloween joke 87
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn't have a haunting license.

Really funny Halloween joke 88
What song does Dracula hate?
"You Are My Sunshine"

Really funny Halloween joke 89
Who was the most famous French skeleton?
Napoleon bone-apart

Really funny Halloween joke 90
What is a vampires favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving

Really funny Halloween joke 91
What is a witch with poison ivy called?
An itchy witchy.

Really funny Halloween joke 92
What did one vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue?
Let's stop in for a cool one!

Really funny Halloween joke 93
What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.

Really funny Halloween joke 94
What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A dead end.

Really funny Halloween joke 95
Where does a ghost refuel his porche?
At a ghastly station.

Really funny Halloween joke 96
What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
Mas-scare-a.

 

Other free funny ads and jokes!

 

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